Battle of the Paragraphs

Alex had to write a simple paragraph on any topic that he chose. Just one measly, little paragraph.

Well, the smart-aleck decided that he would keep it as easy as possible. He wrote the following:

I Collect Stuff

I collect stuffed Pokémon. I collect Pokémon cards. I collect plastic Pokémon. I collect a lot of stuff.

If this had been the first time that he turned in a list instead of a paragraph, I might have let him slide. It wasn't , but I was determined that it would be the last.

I tried to explain the difference between a list and a paragraph, but he didn't want to get it.

Alex argued that he had a main idea, three detail sentences, and a conclusion. He thought that was a fine paragraph.

Instead of arguing, I decided to whip up my own paragraph:

Collecting Books

I love to collect books. I started collecting books when I was just 8 years old. My first book was a Clifford book that I picked up for 25 cents at a school book fair. Now, my house is full of books. I have so many books I can’t keep track of them, and sometimes I end up buying duplicates. The reason that I collect books is that I like having all those stories around me. Sometimes, I sort of remember a story but I can’t remember the details. With my book collection, I can always look for that book and remember the story. Someday, I hope my kids love books as much as I do and that they have a special book collection.

After just a bit of argument, with threats of FunKey denial and promises of a Battle of the Paragraph Blog Post, Alex rewrote his paragraph:

Collecting Pokémon

I like collecting Pokémon stuff. I like collecting things such as cards, plush and plastic Pokémon. Collecting cards is fun because I like to trade and battle with them against my friends. I like collecting plush Pokémon because it's fun to play with them like I'm a human vending machine. If I have enough plastic Pokémon, I put them into two teams and have war with them. That's a fun game. Playing with all my Pokémon items is always spontaneous fun.

Wow! What a difference! His last paragraph is so much more interesting.

We are cross-posting this on both of our blogs: On Living By Learning and Alex and Leperdy's Learning Adventures.

If you would like to receive free articles from On Living By Learning by email, click this link. You can also click here to receive updates on a RSS Feed Reader.